I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it. When love is not madness, it is not love. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be. It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. This book fills a much-needed gap. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. While we are postponing, life speeds by. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. What lies behind us and what lies before us, are only small matters compared to what lies within us. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. Take away love and our earth is a tomb. Solitude, if rightly used, becomes not only a privilege but a necessity. Only a superficial soul fears to fraternize with itself. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! Take away love and our earth is a tomb. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. I'll sleep when I'm dead. Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. What do you take me for, an idiot? Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. A witty saying proves nothing. Give me a museum and I'll fill it. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation. Facts are the enemy of truth. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. I would like to believe when I die that I have given myself away like a tree that sows seed every spring and never counts the loss, because it is not loss, it is adding to future life. It is the tree's way of being. Strongly rooted perhaps, but spilling out its treasure on the wind. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. Too often we give our children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. If a man does his best, what else is there? If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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